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Confessions of a Coffee Snob

Both of my parents drink their coffee hot and black. Thus, in my world, REAL coffee drinkers drink it black. I don’t like black coffee – so I didn’t drink it. Well, except for an occasional ‘cheat” when I accepted a doctored-up version because coffee was what a host was serving or when inexplicably drawn to it while eating a rich dessert.

I would hear others go on about how they love coffee and I’d mentally judge them harshly as they adulterated the REAL deal with sugar, syrups, powders and dollops of cream. Clearly they didn’t actually like coffee.

Over the past year I kept encountering articles touting the benefit of coffee when it comes to staving off alzheimers.* By the fourth article I wrestled with refusing to drink coffee if I couldn’t drink it the right way versus potentially increasing my odds against developing such a debilitating disease. Dealing with a beloved family member who is in the early stages of alzheimers, I decided the potential benefit outweighed my pride with regard to being perceived as a weenie so-called coffee drinker.

On my last visit home, I shared, shoulders hunched in shame, with my father that I had started drinking coffee, but just couldn’t drink it black like he and my mother did. He responded flippantly: “The only reason we drink it black is because when we moved to Seattle sugar was scarce and the people we were staying with didn’t have cream – so we just go used to going without it.”

What?! After 50 years I find that my parents actually at one time were weenie-coffee drinkers, too? Or does it mean that one’s NOT a woose because they add a little flavor to their joe? I felt like the lady who cut her roast in half and cooked it in two pans for years as her mother did when she was growing up – only to learn decades later her mother did that because she didn’t have a pan big enough for a roast.

So I decided to embrace my new-found delight in tan coffee. When I expressed concern about the added calories, a friend suggested that I use a very small amount of whipping cream in it. Not half and half – real heavy cream. The logic was it’s naturally sweet and a little goes a long way. I found this to be true, and I generally drink it that way. However, for an occasional treat, my favorite woosie  addition is Southern Butter Pecan. Bottom’s up!  -El

soutern pecan creamer*Click here to read 4 Benefits of Coffee found on Alzheimers.net


  1. Ha ha! I love coffee. However I always drink my cream and sugar with a little coffee in it, as they say……That’s the best kind.

    1. I loved all things coffee – except coffee itself – for years. Relatives picked up coffee ice cream when I visited them in MA every summer, we’d get a case of coffee syrup while there for our milk (we couldn’t get it in Michigan) to bring home, and I stocked up on Coffee Crisp candy bars when I’d go to Canada. What they ALL have in common is coffee with sugar and cream flavoring! Ya would think that I’d have caught on sooner! I still would love to find somewhere that sells Coffee Crisps – we don’t do Canada runs from Oklahoma like we did in Michigan! -El

  2. My siblings and I grew up on “coffee milk.” In fact, it is a family story that every morning my younger brother would stand up in his crib and cry out his coffee order. “I want my coffee milk!” Even as a toddler, he couldn’t get his day started without his caffeine fix. Yes, we all became caffeine addicts at a young age. And we still all drink our coffee “tan.”
    Another fake creamer to try is the Bailey’s label. They have several flavors, and they are all yummy!

    1. That’s too funny about your caffeine-binging bro! We grew up on coffee milk, too. Only it was a result of mixing milk with coffee syrup that we’d pick up when in Massachusetts. Our Sunday routine when visiting our relatives in MA was to go to St. Joseph’s church for morning mass then to a local diner for english muffins and milkshakes. Every year I would forget that a milkshake there was flavored syrup shaken with milk. I was always soooooo disappointed and would have to wait a whole week to get another shot at remembering to order a ‘frappe’ if I wanted ice cream in it!

      I’ll have to check out the Bailey’s options – thanks! -El

  3. Glad I didn’t inherit that fear – of – woose gene! However, I was nearly 50 before I began drinking the stuff. Recently had a very robust brew half/half with warm milk and unrefined sugar. Another major yum! My American version will be with almond milk (calories) and stevia…Will let you know how that goes. 🙂

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