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Wonky Whisker

Wonky WhiskerI was brushing my teeth when I saw the smear on the side of my chin. How could my face possibly get dirty while I slept? I put my glasses on for a better look. What the . . . ? It was a hair the length of my arm! Attached. To my face. How could something that long just pop up overnight? And of course it did pop up overnight. Because if it didn’t, that would mean that thing had been dangling from my face for weeks. No way – somebody would have told me. On the other hand, maybe all that snickering I experienced over the past month wasn’t a result of my sparkling wit as previously assumed.

I stopped with the trying to figure out its genesis and asked myself what do I do with it? The way I saw it, there were three options.

One, I could buy a black pointed hat, learn to cackle and just roll with it.

Two, I could take that allegation made against me once during a past argument literally and actually split hairs. Or hair. If I could split it into three, I could braid it. Maybe tie it off with a colorful teeny-tiny rubber band. Other people decorate their faces with tattoos, noserings or brow studs – my facial artistic expression could be a chin braid.

Three, I could remove it. I knew better than to shave it off. You know – the whole it-grows-back-twice-as-thick-thing. I remembered the pulled-tooth method. I could tie it to a door knob and have someone yank the door open. An attempt to do so informed me that the hair wasn’t quite as long as it appeared in the mirror. The job could be done with tweezers. I grabbed some and yanked that sucker out. It dropped to the counter in the shape of a mocking smile. We both knew I had won the battle, but the war was ongoing. -El

Wanky Whisker


  1. I’m naturally blonde, but have one dark hair that keeps popping up on my left upper lip. I pluck it, but have gotten to where I can’t see it, but I can feel it with my tongue. I have this morbid fear that in the next ten years they will be all across my lip and I’ll have to wax. OUCH!

    1. I share your fear, SK. Not that you’ll have hair across your lip, but that there may be some circumstance where decorum requires me to wax. And I’ll just be up front here, that narrow strip over my lip is the ONLY part of my body hot wax will ever see unless a candle drips on me!

  2. My arm hairs do not fall out! I was oblivious to this fact until a friend tried to brush a spider web off my arm and it was attached to me!!! My children are so disgusted by them that I occasionally take to them with clippers…but I miss them when they’re short.My son submitted the longest hair length to the Guinness Records people, but at just under 13 cm, I was about 1.5 cm too short!

  3. Oh yes the hairy chin, I am equally shocked every morning when I get out my 10X magnifying mirror and see all those little “pains in the chin” and then I begin to pluck! I just wonder if the NoNo really works, has anyone bought one of those? If so, do they really work?

    Now on my goal for October, as of this morning I have walked 81.5 miles for the month and if I get my lazy self off the recliner I hope to add another 25 miles to that by the end of the month.

    1. I have to be really careful not to leave my mirror on the magnifying side when I leave the bathroom or I scare myself silly the next I pass by it!

      I’ve never heard of NoNo, Tresa. Is it anything like the tweezmaster? We did an earlier post that asked for feedback on it and between a comment on the post and comments left for me on Facebook, it wasn’t well received. People were spelling “pain” with capital letters! It may not be the same thing, though – check the picture on this post: https://fatbottomfiftiesgetfierce.com/2014/05/16/5-fierce-products-to-try-feedback-needed/

  4. Shel, I just noticed Tresa’s comment regarding the miles she has walked this month. I find it rather interesting that it is impossible for me to encourage her to go get the mail for me, which is 250 steps round trip.


    1. You’ve got two choices, Dean. You can either accept that a motivated woman is not going to stop after a mere 250 steps, or you can start putting spa giftcards in the mailbox. Isn’t it nice to have options??

    1. If you’re laughing, Jill, it’s probably because you haven’t had to add “face mowing” to your morning routine yet – may you be forever blessed with a bald chin! -El

  5. Is this ‘fess up time? I have one that grows on my neck. It has been coming there for years now and like you the first time I saw it the sucker was about three feet long! Now I keep a wary eye out for it and as soon as I spot it longer than a centimetre, out it comes. It’s only ever been one which is a great relief, else by now I’d be sporting a neck beard 🙂

    I am pleased to report that my October challenge is 99% completed 🙂 Thanks for the great impulse and support – if not for this challenge it would not be where it is!

    1. Oh my gosh – I’m so excited about your progress on your project,Pauline, that I almost forgot I had to add “check neck for sprouting hair” to my to-do list! Are you going to send a picture?? I agree about the support – but for you chances are my bike wouldn’t have even made it to the shop let alone be picked up and ready to roll. Now if you could just pop over for a short visit and help me carve out a daytime spot to actually ride it, I can celebrate with you! -El

      1. A picture? You betcha! I’ll send one through immediately if not sooner 🙂 I am going to sing your praises in a blog post and send all my readers scurrying across to sign up for the November challenge! There will be a November challenge won’t there?

        I really really want you to get on that bike and do those miles and get off again without a severe case of bike-bum!! I’m worried about your career – it won’t look good should you decide to pace about while presenting………….

        1. BIKE-BUM???? Ewwwwwwwww. It sounds like a fungus! The thought of it is just the little motivation I need to get that bike out after work and ride it by moonlight if need be! And thank you for your concern about my ability to make a living – who knows what court-attenders would think of someone doing the bike-bum walk (not to mention the bike-bum rub!)!? You are a good friend, indeed, Pauline.

          Absolutely we’ll be doing a November goalfest! And we’re so excited at that thought of your buddies joining us! The more the merrier – AND the more accountability! AND more of us heading toward fierce! Thanks so much for sharing our info with your contagious enthusiasm!Looking forward to hearing about your next goal – and seeing the results of your current one!

  6. What a good laugh this morning, but sad to say I can relate to this chin whisker thing…plucking is a must for me…I also have the 10X mirror…Yikes!

    1. I’m not sure which is scarier, Terry – having more whiskers sprout or seeing them magnified to rapunzel-like proportions. I swear a shiver just passed through me! -El

  7. My grandmother laughingly said that when Grandpa’s hair on his head disappeared…it magically appeared on her chin. It was their magic trick, she told us (her grandchildren), and we were young and amazed.
    Now that I’m older…well, amazed isn’t the first word that comes to mind.

    1. That’s cute, Marylin! I don’t know about hopping over to another’s chin, but I do think that men don’t so much “lose” the hair on their head, it seems more like a migration to backs, chests and arms.

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