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Top 10 Reasons Why Having a Colonoscopy Makes You Smile

Top 10 Reasons Having a Colonscopy Will Make You Smile

I’m not going to talk about how having this simple procedure detects cancer early and, literally, saves lives – that’s old news. And I’m not going to try to persuade you to have one by telling you how one no longer has to drink gallons and gallons of nasty-tasting stuff like they used to the night before – you’ve probably heard that 100 times. What I DO want to talk about is the benefits of having a colonoscopy that nobody else is talking about – the ones that will make you smile. There wasn’t room to list them all, so I have selected the Top 10 Reasons Why Having a Colonoscopy Makes You Smile.

10. You get to utter mysteriously: “I’m having a medical procedure done tomorrow.”

9. You get the day off work.

8. Just when you think age has caused you to slow down, the time it takes you to get to the bathroom from the living room will prove you wrong.

7. Free fuzzy socks with non-slip grippers.

6. The warm blanket – mmmmmmmmm. You’ll be so busy wondering where you can buy a blanket warmer, you’ll forget why you’re there.

5. It will be the one time in your whole life when you will be encouraged to pass gas while others are present.

4. You’re sure to lose a pound or so in the process – without exercise!

3. You will finally get some of that sleep you’ve been needing.

2. You will have earned the right to nag others who haven’t yet had “the procedure” and are now qualified to proclaim self-righteously: “It’s just not that big a deal.”

And the number one reason why having a colonoscopy makes you smile??

1. You can now participate in those conversations that you were formerly banned from due to your lack of experience. You know – the ones that use phrases like wooshing feeling, never moved so fast in my life, I was relieved to find out that. . . “

IF YOU’RE OVER 50 AND YOU HAVEN’T HAD “THE PROCEDURE” YET, DO IT.   REALLY – IT’S JUST NOT THAT BIG A DEAL!*

Top 10 Reasons Having a Colonsocpy Makes You Smile

* We are both qualified to tell you that!

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23 Comments

  1. Hahaha! I have to schedule another one of those. I’d be hesitant but I know someone personally whose life was saved and the joy in that was enough to convince me.

  2. Unfortunately, I’ve been participating in that conversation since my early 20’s. It’s really not a big deal at all. And yes, the blankets are heavenly.

    1. You must have the biggest sock collection of us all, Jill! I’m sorry you have to deal with the health issues that “the procedure” goes with – and so glad this life-saving technology exists. -El

    1. Love Dave Barry’s column on this topic!

  3. akismet-724edbba21f26d39e2ab03135ef49d16 says:

    HA! I knew this was going to make me laugh! I have to have one this year even though I’m not 50 because my mom had a cancerous polyp. I went with my hubby and it was actually pretty funny.

    1. It does seem a little more entertaining when on the other side of things, Katie – but, as you witnessed – it really is no big deal. You will be qualified at a much younger age to share that bit of wisdom! Hope your husband has as much fun assisting you as you did assisting him! -El

  4. True, they are not big deal! I’ve been having them for the past 10 years at least. The warm blankets are wonderful, but the sleep is even better. ZZZZ!

  5. One more thing, if you want to make the doctor laugh just draw a smiley face on your bum. I haven’t had the courage to do it yet but I’m sure the doctor would crack up! Pardon the pun.

    1. Oooooh – that’s bad! Unless your reach is spectacular, you’re going to need a little help with that drawing, Tresa – good thing you don’t live alone!

  6. I am scheduled for one in 12 days. I am one of those people than can never get used to the prep day. Ugh! This is my fifth!

    1. That is definitely not fun – hope you at least get some fuzzy socks out of it!!

  7. I have Lynch Syndrome so I have a colonoscopy every year with out fail. Had my 16th in April. Love this post and the great way it gets the message out.

    1. Wow, Eileen – you’ve probably seen quite a bit of progress in the evolution of the colonscopy process! Do you flavor the drink? If so, what’s your go-to?

  8. 3 in the last 10 years. I can attest to the fact that preps are much easier now. Best part is what I refer to as the “Happy Juice”! I’ve asked if I could have a gallon to go but nope! Something about that being illegal! LOL

    1. Picky, picky, right? Thanks, Leanne – it’s helpful for others to hear from a first-hand source that the process has evolved to be . . . less unpleasant!

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