7 Things Not to Wear When You’re Over 50

7 Things Not to Wear When You're Over 50I confess that I struggle with the whole “age-appropriate” clothes concept. There’s a war going on between phrases doing battle in my brain: Wear what makes you feel good versus Just because it comes in your size doesn’t mean you should wear it. I usually come down in the middle somewhere. I defy the slimming benefits of basic black by wearing brazen colors – even an occasional horizontal stripe or two – in spite of the fact that I’m . . . big boned. But shorts and anything sleeveless are out.

There are times when I’m in awe of one who has the moxie to wear less-than-flattering clothes with confidence because they love them. [WARNING: politically incorrect statement coming] However, I think there are some things that women over 50 just shouldn’t wear. Here’s my short list:

1. Crop tops. Feel free to ignore me if you have abs of steel. The rest of us, however, don’t usually end up with the look we were going for.7 Things Not Wear When You're Over 507 Things Not to Wear When You're Over 50

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Any item that doesn’t allow for a bra. Unless you’re in pajamas or a woolen overcoat, bras are now mandatory in public.

3. Pastel floral dresses. From fun and perky to tired and frumpy in less than three decades.7 Things Not to Wear When You're Over 507 Things Not to Wear When You're Over 50

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. Tatoos. Sure, that rosebud right over your left breast looks cute when it’s first done. But before you know it, it’s a long-stem rose.

5. Very high heels. Stilettos just don’t look good with varicose veins. You don’t have varicose veins, you say? Just keep wearing those super high heels and you’ll find out what I’m talking about.7 Things Not to Wear When You're Over 507 Things Not to Wear When You're Over 50

 

 

 

 

 

 

6. Anything you wore the first time it was in style. So stop saving your crushed velvet bellbottoms, denim overalls, and baby doll dresses. Yes, they will come back in style. No, you should not wear them. Not even new versions of them. The only exception to this rule is trench coats.

7. Thongs. They look bad and make you walk funny.

7 Things Not to Wear if You're Over 50ANY OTHER FASHION QUESTIONS WE CAN HELP WITH?

42 comments

  1. Got a good laugh out of this one! I can’t remember the last time I tucked my shirt in, always leave it hanging out and a little loose thinking it will hide a little that way. Really liked number 1!

  2. I’ve always adhered to a “body” appropriate philoshophy over a an “age” appropriate one. That second model in the crop top doesn’t look over thirty, and I don’t think that’s a good look for her. That said, it’s a sad fact of life that the older we get, the less body appropriate a lot of styles become. 🙂 And is it just me who’s having trouble with No. 2? Does it mean if I wear my pajamas in public I don’t have to wear a bra? 🙂

    1. I’m with you on the first two points, Dee Dee. Speaking of sad truths, I went with the younger model for the ‘reality’ crop top shot to spare all of us what peeks out of the bottom of a crop top on someone my age. You’re welcome. And yes – if you’re wearing pajamas in public we already know you have issues and, thus, we would extend compassion/sympathy regarding any other judgement lapses. -El

  3. Ha! I love the thong thing…..too funny. And there is so much truth to this. You see these clothes that you love and they are so cute and then you wonder, “What will I look like in this” or “Am I too old to wear this?” It always happens to me…..I forget that I am over 50! (Or I want to forget……..)

  4. Laughed aloud. Tattoo comment is great, and also the intent/reality images. I’m with Dee Dee in that it’s really more body appropriate than age, although there is a point where an adult woman should stop dressing like her tween grandchild. That said, if I could look like Helen Mirren did in her famous viral bikini photo, I would probably flaunt my stuff. Since I didn’t look that good in a bikini when I was in my 20s, not likely it will be happening.

    1. There’s nothing scarier than seeing a hep outfit from behind with a nice figure in it and having the presumed twenty-something wearer turn around and seeing a face that looks like Bette Davis’ in that Baby Jane movie. Ask me how I know!

  5. This was a great post. Laugh out loud funny. I struggle with T-shirts with the big emblems and lettering on them. Age appropriate or not? I’m thinking not, especially when I pull out the OCU T-Shirt that says “Go Big Blue.” What was I thinking when I bought that one? No need to advertise my size.

    1. Had a friend whose guy gave her a souvenier polo shirt from his trip to Florida. FLO was on one side of the placket, RIDA on the other. When I pointed out she’d named her boobs Flo and Rida, our friends went nuts. Decades later we still grin at that one…

  6. My girls had a hard time explaining Thongs to me, I thought they where warn on your feet! Lol
    The picture was close to my own image when they began talking about Thongs! Then they CORRECTED me, “Flip flops Mom, not Thongs are warn on your feet”.
    Guess some things do change.
    Thanks, Always enjoy a good laugh or two!

  7. It isn’t about age people, its about how a particular style looks on YOU. There are NO hard and fast rules. Articles like this play up those tired old stereotypes we are desperately trying to forget…please people…ignore this rubbish and wear what makes you feel great.

    1. I agree with you Fatlama – there are certainly no hard and fast rules. One of the great things about being over 50 is how much better we know ourselves and what works for us than we did in younger days. Sometimes its just makes life enjoyable to poke a little fun at ourselves. Thanks so much for stopping by and taking the time to express your opinion!

  8. Hahaha! So funny, Laughed especially about the “tattoo” of which I have on my left boob! Its supposed to be a crescent moon with a bat over it, but now I am 53 this year, its starting to resemble a very fuzzy moon with what looks like a flying labrador dog! lol. Loved this post, Luckily I do not seem to have made all the other no no’s on the list, but I am still in the dark as to what actually looks good for my age? Loved the thong joke too! xxx

    1. A bat with a crescent moon? Sounds like there’s a story there! But if it’s only a flying lab you’re still doing fine – when it goes St. Bernard on you, we should talk more!

      I think what looks best on us at our age, Susan, is CONFIDENCE – and it never goes out of style! So glad you found us – hope we’ll see you often!

    1. Thanks for visiting! The link in the comment section didn’t work, so I tried to use the one in your address. It says it’s password protected and I would need a password to read the content, so I wasn’t able to see what was written.

  9. Oh my goodness, this is hilarious. I know my being over 60 qualifies as being Over 50, and I think I will really enjoy following this blog. I found this from clicking in from Suzie81’s blog party. I try very hard not to gross people out by my wardrobe choices.

      1. I just checked your Facebook page. It is indeed hilarious. I want to share something on my personal facebook page but there are so many great options that I don’t know which one to go with.

  10. I am 60, can you believe that a 25 year old has a crush on me? I just can’t explain it, I wonder what is wrong with him. I didn’t do anything to make this happen, it’s crazy.

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